Sunday, February 25, 2007

Live Oscar blogging beats the Apollo moon landing any day.

7:55 PM - I've been wearing an unwashed grey suit for over a month to support Borat's screenplay nomination. Tonight's where it pays off!

8:35 PM - Surprisingly, Errol Morris' opening interview montage did not include a Fred Leuchter appearance.

8:40 PM - Ellen's suit is the visual equivalent of "Oprah, Uma."

8:47 PM - Woo hoo, first award... What the FUCK! The Good Shepherd lost Best Art Direction?!? Fuck! This! Evening ruined. Kiss my ass, Hollywood. Is basketball on? Pacers vs. Kings... uh...

8:53 - Man, this Kings game is weird. Ron Artest just started singing about fighting Peter O'Toole. Wait, which show am I watching? Fuck, this is actually kinda hard.

9:07 PM - GUYS!!! IM sO DRUNK!!!1!

9:23 PM - OK IM BACK. SOMEone told me Tim and Eric r presenting later.

9:30 PM - guys yu think Jon Heder will evr win an oscar? ppl never tjought eddie murphey wld win one either and look what just happened.


9:34 - Aand now its that convenient truths song. look yall i know its easy to be cynical abouit the oscars but ten billion people watch every year. ITS STILL REAL 2 ME DAMMIT!


9:40 - gUys Im sorry abt that sore loserman joke. this aint the half hour comedy hour on fox news, you dont come here for that sorta thing. Also, I just saw on yahoo eddie murphy didn't actully win. sorry.

9:56 - Shit, sorry again I was lookin for that gif of the cat jumpin out of the hedge and attacking the little kid bt i cant find it. I just thought it wouild be funny. i dont even know whats goin on on the oscars. I'm sorry... this blog sucks. im not fukin funny eitehr which is why i only have 2 readers.

10:01 - you know what the worst part of tonigt is, i got stuff i should be workin on for work but i keep puttin it off. WTF is wrong w/ me why am i so unmotivated. Plus im fukin drunk and i only had 1 beer.

10:03 FUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuck.

10:06 god i fuckin suck. i suck i suck i suck. Can you at least make friends on or is it only for dating? Im lonely and i suck. i need to take this fukcin suit off, it stinks.

10 ? im going to bed early. i'll catch tim + erics bit on youtube tomorrow. sorry for sucking.


ShariDee said...

Admit'd kill for any one of Ellen's fabulous suits.

Chris said...

I'm trying to imagine the circumstances in which I'd wear a red velvet suit. I think the phrase "coked to the gills" would apply to all of them.