"How did Patton beat Rommel? He read his book!"

Last night's Best Show on WFMU contained a beautiful, near hour-long rant by Tom Scharpling railing against the wretched films of Kevin Smith, one of the worst filmmakers ever to breathe air on our planet. Tom correctly noted just about every problem with Smith's ouevre: the tracts of unwieldy dialogue, the horrible visual style, the forced crudeness, the jarring shifts in tone, the fact that they're Really Not Funny, etc. I still find Clerks amusing in spots, but he's consistently managed to hit new lows throughout his career, as Tom details on the Real Audio and mp3 archives of the show (you can hear me call in with some passable comments during the last 20 minutes or so, although I fear I may have pronounced coup de gras as "coop-de-grah" at one point). The only Smith-related project I would even cautiously recommend at this point is that 425-hour-long dvd of his college lectures, An Evening with Kevin Smith, as it does contain some funny stories, including one about briefly working with Prince on an ill-fated vanity project.

You can't say Smith doesn't know his fanboy audience however. Take a look at the Lara Croft-like photoshopping of these Rosario Dawson pics on the Clerks 2 posters:



Everyone likes to feel sexy after all, and what could possibly be more flattering or dignified for an actress than having the phrase "ALWAYS OPEN" plastered above your digitally enhanced boobological region. I'd advise Rosario to reprise this gimmick in ads for any future roles; perhaps a version with a suggestively placed flute, in case she's doing any Shakespeare in the Park anytime soon.